Sunday, February 3, 2008

Pregnancy Top Fives

Now that I'm nearing the end of my pregnancy, I thought I'd take a moment to recap some of its highs and lows. You may remember my promising in the very first post that this blog would contain no bitching or complaining about anything other than knitting or Oliver. I may have to bend the rules a little here, because - as every pregnant woman (and pregnant woman's husband) knows - one of the benefits of being pregnant is having carte blanche to whine without restraint about your pregnancy. So hang on to your britches, 'cause here we go...

Top Five Food Cravings
# 5. Edamame with kosher salt (first trimester)
# 4. Salad (second and third trimesters)
# 3. Clementines, eaten two or three at a time (beginning of third trimester)
# 2. Triscuits with sharp cheddar cheese (third trimester)
# 1. Honey Bunches of Oats Cereal with Vanilla Soy Milk (the whole damn time)

Top Five Size-Related Comments That I Didn't Mind Hearing
# 5. "You're really getting big!" (said while standing in front of me looking at my belly)
# 4. "You look like you're due any day now!"
# 3. "You look like you have a basketball in there!"
# 2. "It's so pointy!"
# 1. "You're beautiful." (said by my husband. We'll forget his previous camel comment. For now.)

Top Five Size-Related Comments That Filled Me with Homicidal Rage
# 5. "You're really getting big!" (said while walking behind me looking at God-knows-what)
# 4. "Your face looks fuller!"
# 3. "Wow, you've gotten bigger... all over!"
# 2. "You're HUGE!" (especially when followed by...)
# 1. "How much weight have you gained so far?"

Top Five Fashion Lifesavers
# 5. Bella Bands
# 4. Cheap clothes from Target and Forever 21, bought in ever-increasing sizes
# 3. Anything black and stretchy (and therefore slimming. Right? Right??)
# 2. Shoes with no buckles, laces, or zippers (because the idea of reaching your feet becomes a joke)
# 1. Cynthia and Tara (from whom I inherited a bounty of maternity clothing. Thanks, ladies!)

Top Five Websites
# 1. Babycenter.com

Top Five Favorite Things About Pregnancy
# 5. Discussing baby names with my husband.
# 4. Watching my husband channel his inner Martha Stewart while decorating the nursery
# 3. Watching my husband try to talk to the baby
# 2. Seeing my belly move around
# 1. Feeling the baby kick

Top Five Least Pleasant Things About Pregnancy
# 5. The first trimester.
# 4. Being gripped with fear every time I sneezed and coughed in the last trimester.
I'm just going to stop there. You don't want to hear the rest. Trust me.

Nesting mode has kicked in 1000% percent. Despite my increasingly more uncomfortable hugeness, I spent a good chunk of this weekend cleaning, cooking, baking, knitting, and running errands. Today alone I hit Target, Ralphs, and Costco, did laundry, organized three closets, mopped the kitchen floor, and baked one red velvet cake. From scratch. Knitting was on hold for the day because even my damn fingers have begun retaining water.

Speaking of knitting, I'm in a race against the clock to complete two baby projects before the big day - a Sheldon (yes, another one) and an entrelac blanket. There they are, above, hanging out at the Friday Knitting Group. Unfortunately, Lisa forgot her knitting that day. Not sure why she looked so darn happy about it, though. To make up for her lack of knitting, Jocelyn taught knitting newbie Patricia the ropes. Or the yarn, as it were. Har dee har har!

1 comment:

Patricia said...

I look like I'm concentrating too hard, got some knitting done over the weekend! Your blog cracks me up :)